I can completely relate to Susan J Douglas. I grew up in a
very very very Catholic home. When rumor spread amongst my family members that
my slutty cousin, who is the exact same age as me, had lost her v-card to her
scandalously older boyfriend, my mother encouraged me to stop talking to her.
And when that same cousin moved in with the same boyfriend, well all hell was
about to break loose. She was no longer
invited to family events and became a topic that was never to be mentioned. But
suddenly, all was right with the world the day that she got married to her
boyfriend. Suddenly, everything was okay because she was a married woman. The
shame and disappointment that was once a heavy shroud covering every family
gathering seemed to have been shred to bits. I never understood why she was a “bad
girl.” She was always so nice to everyone and did well in school. Douglas talks
about this confusion in the third chapter of her book and I know exactly what
she means. While she is talking about the Sexual Revolution of the 1950’s and
1960’s, it is obvious to me that some of these thoughts have not disappeared.
When I first came to USD, I was prompted to join a sorority. But no good, respectable girl is going to be
in a sorority. I knew absolutely nothing about Greek life but had been told by
my family and the peers that I had grown up with that the only girls there
would be slutty bitches. Please excuse my French. Now, I am currently in a
sorority and let me tell you, that is hardly the case. In my unique perspective
of being a non-affiliated college student that later joined the Greek system, sorority
girls do not have sex any more or less than other girls. I had in my head when
I was in high school that girls in college did nothing but go to class and then
go to parties and have sex. And while that may be the case for some people, it
is not exactly a rule of thumb. When I heard about sororities, I assumed that
they would be even worse than average college girls! It does not help that the
media likes to portray negative connotations and focus on those that perpetuate
stereotypes. Last year, FOX did a special expose to the happenings of Spring
Breakers on beaches in places like Florida, PCB, or Cancun. My mother watched
it and was assured that if I ever went to a beach with friends, I would
instantly take part of a massive orgy ridden with alcohol and drugs. Not to say
that that might not happen with some people, but I’m not one to think that a
person would just drop all their morals because they came to college, joined a sorority,
or went to a beach with some friends. Yes, people can change and make decisions
that they wouldn't have before. But I hardly think that you can do a complete
180. Is my mother just being a very traditional, religious woman? Am I being
unrealistic with so harshly disagreeing with her? Can peer pressure and the
values that you surround yourself really change you as a person? And if you did
change, and if that was the life you lead, would it really be so bad?
Interesting perspective, Jen! Thank you for sharing it with us. Looking from the outside in, I see my boyfriend's Catholic family as much more strict-and somewhat more judgmental?- than my Protestant family, but I don't think that's all due to religion! It is hard for me to relate to this situation coming from a different religious background, but I can definitely understand how you can relate to the author's writings. I think that it's so interesting to see how religious upbringing affects who we are as people, what we do or don't do, who we choose to be around. Again, thanks for sharing your experience! :)
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